Shopping Cart
Your Cart is Empty
Quantity:
Subtotal
Taxes
Shipping
Total
There was an error with PayPalClick here to try again
CelebrateThank you for your business!You should be receiving an order confirmation from Paypal shortly.Exit Shopping Cart

Mercy Christian Counseling

NCCA Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counseling with Temperament

Counselor's Corner

Counselor's Corner

The Rule of Church

Posted by mercycounseling on July 29, 2021 at 9:40 AM

The Rule of Church

 

Recently a client expressed how phony and guilty she felt regarding her church experience. The gist of the guilt feelings had to do with expectations laid down by church leadership toward church members that my client felt herself at odds with. After more than a decade of membership, my client was feeling the toll of trying to live what felt like a double life. The situation was causing her to doubt her faith and affect her marriage and family. She was frustrated because she could not motivate her spouse to “keep the rules” when she herself was not able to crack the whip due to a new work schedule. It turns out that he disagreed with the rules and avoided them when he could. She came to me seeking answers and relief.

 

After a short discussion, I realized that my client was struggling with church culture, not biblical instruction. The particular “rule” causing problems for her had to do with the cultural value and expectation that church members would be at church every time the doors were open. She referred to this norm as “three to thrive.” Before she started a new job, she saw to it that her family met this expectation “religiously.” With Sunday work now required of her such that she could not always attend church, she tried to keep her family in compliance with this rule, but to no avail, leaving her feeling frustrated, anxious, and guilty. She was in terrible bondage to the rules of man!

 

We examined what the Bible says about attendance. Nowhere in the Bible does it lay down a commandment for the frequency of church attendance. It shows that Christians typically met on the first day of the week (Acts 20:7), and that we are not to forsake assembling with other believers (Hebrews 10:25).

 

Three to thrive is just one example of cultural norms that are not biblical; there are many others that one may encounter. Most are simply embedded in a particular church’s culture.

 

Every church develops a specific culture that makes a congregation unique. It is a function of both church teaching and group dynamics. Traditions of the denomination also come into play. Fitting in is important to maintain unity and peace, which are biblical principles (Titus 3:9; Ephesians 4:1-6). However, being fully grounded in the scriptures is needed so that you can understand what is truly biblical and what is merely cultural. With that knowledge, one can make a reasoned choice whether to continue in a particular church.

 

In my opinion, if non-biblical church expectations are leaving you feeling defeated, guilty, angry, frustrated . . . and if you find yourself feeling judged and rejected because of an inability or unwillingness to meet the cultural expectations . . . it may be time to move on. But before you do, I urge you to speak frankly with your pastor about what you are feeling. It may not be the pastor’s intention to have you feel that way at all.

 

You also need to ask yourself if your discomfort is grounded in truth or assumption. Many people with certain temperament types just naturally tend to see rejection but this is often only in their mind. That’s why communication is so important. Good communication can help you sort out perception versus reality.

 

 

Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection were meant to set us free from the old covenant law, sin, and death. Understanding the cultural norms of your church as compared to scriptural commands is paramount to experiencing healthy church membership. Armed with knowledge of both, you will find peace.

 

“Therefore, if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” (John 8:36)

 

Stand on His promises and truth! Blessings to you!

 

 

Categories: None

Post a Comment

Oops!

Oops, you forgot something.

Oops!

The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

Already a member? Sign In

1833 Comments

Reply Michaelpoubs
10:56 AM on November 26, 2022 
canadian drug mart pharmacy discount ed drugs
https://naijamoviez.com/# canada rx
pill for erectile dysfunction pharmacy drugstore online
Reply Elwoodtat
8:34 AM on November 26, 2022 
reputable overseas online pharmacies
Reply TimothyGex
5:10 AM on November 26, 2022 
buy canadian drugs online best ed medication
https://images.google.mn/url?q=https://naijamoviez.com canadian neighborhood pharmacy
ed pills buy online prescription drugs
Reply sadlifebox
2:21 AM on November 26, 2022 
polo shorts outfit nike vapor air max 2019 blanc under armour hat sizes moncler k2 down jacket four star uswnt jersey soft pink wedding dresses
sadlifebox http://www.sadlifebox.com/
Reply crazypraisy
2:02 AM on November 26, 2022 
michael kors mott pebble leather phone crossbody wallet linen cocoon dress rainbow heart pandora charm gustafsson erik 56 jersey for cheap texas rangers fishing hat chart reebok boots shoes
crazypraisy http://www.crazypraisy.com/
Reply bcporter
10:39 PM on November 25, 2022 
longsands bobble hat ralph lauren pony 2 perfume raybans jackie o bam adebayo miami heat jersey pandora friendship charms vans kyle walker pro beige
bcporter http://www.bcporter.net/
Reply talazin
7:20 PM on November 25, 2022 
polo shorts outfit nike vapor air max 2019 blanc under armour hat sizes moncler k2 down jacket four star uswnt jersey soft pink wedding dresses
talazin http://www.talazin.com/
Reply shoop-parfum
4:16 PM on November 25, 2022 
womens button down oxford shirts nba jerseys superhero jersey celtics boston clarks wallabee camouflage henry cole hat ray ban cats 5000 sunglass hut
shoop-parfum http://www.shoop-parfum.com/
Reply celexacit
9:31 AM on November 25, 2022 
cuddl duds softwear with stretch long sleeve crew linen sleep dress shining wish ring pandora men nike oakland raiders 16 george blanda elite white nfl jersey sale womens pink red sox hat utah boyfriend lebron 12 nsw lifestyle low black and green
celexacit http://www.celexacit.com/
Reply cepsarf
4:34 AM on November 25, 2022 
moncler moka white nike phantom vision fg gold pink shoes orange and black moncler jacket michael kors handbags with compartments pandora disney harry potter
cepsarf http://www.cepsarf.com/
Reply Williammiz
12:56 AM on November 25, 2022 
austria pharmacy online gabapentin cost canada furosemide 40 mg price in india citalopram drug
Reply vanelus
12:18 AM on November 25, 2022 
moncler bardanette jacket marc jacobs black and white purse blush junior dresses black diamond bengal beanie white oversized button down shirt dress the north face denali anorak
vanelus http://www.vanelus.com/
Reply edcialistop
11:17 PM on November 24, 2022 
kittle 75th anniversary jersey rb2140 derrick henry vapor jersey tenis adida nmd r1 black and red jordans 11 retro mahomes green jersey
edcialistop http://www.edcialistop.net/
Reply tertogel
11:54 AM on November 24, 2022 
psg jordan basketball jersey womens 2012 new nfl jerseys new york giants 80 victor cruz black jerseys impact limited stylish suit pandora gold pendant shazier ohio state jersey for cheap moncler moncla
tertogel http://www.tertogel.com/
Reply MiaEmema
9:24 AM on November 24, 2022 
bactrim 400 80 mg tablet
Reply frausieben
9:16 AM on November 24, 2022 
moncler bardanette jacket marc jacobs black and white purse blush junior dresses black diamond bengal beanie white oversized button down shirt dress the north face denali anorak
frausieben http://www.frausieben.net/
Reply MiaEmema
2:36 AM on November 24, 2022 
viagra online usa pharmacy
Reply dessanchar
2:39 PM on November 23, 2022 
moncler moka white nike phantom vision fg gold pink shoes orange and black moncler jacket michael kors handbags with compartments pandora disney harry potter
dessanchar http://www.dessanchar.com/
Reply umafiesta
2:27 PM on November 23, 2022 
pandora wedding rings set louboutin heels so kate among us skin pet hat rayban1971 jack wills cap lack of color carlo mack
umafiesta http://www.umafiesta.com/
Reply dorichon
2:25 PM on November 23, 2022 
moncler cloak poncho coat coach accordion zip wallet in signature canvas sexy flapper girl cute capri outfits philadelphia phillies cap space heat michael kors gray crossbody purse
dorichon http://www.dorichon.com/